Amanda’s Letters – Dear Santa 2025

Dear Santa,

It’s Christmas at Lowell once again!  Don’t forget I moved from the Work Camp to the Annex in case you are looking for me.

I promise I’ve been as good as possible in the situational housing where I currently reside.  I’ve stayed kind when I wanted to scream.  I loved freely without reserve.  I obeyed all (most, some) of the rules set by the state.  I followed procedures, even the most abstract, weird, nonsense ones.  I did what I was supposed to when I was supposed to.

But Santa, this year has been tough.  Now, I know what you’re thinking.  Sure Amanda, every year has been tough.  But Santa, this year has really been tough. 

I’ve loved and lost.  I’ve had all of my prison freedoms (that is an oxymoron), and enjoyments, and friends, and comforts ripped from me.  I’ve experienced months of the most excruciating pain I’ve ever imagined.  I no longer have volleyball or my friend Alisce or the Work Camp.  I’ve been lost, and alone, and consumed with anger and grief and this utter dark suffocating sadness.  I feel like I’m drowning in worry about my family.  I don’t feel the Christmas spirit.  I don’t feel much of any kind of spirit. I feel so, so empty. 

This is probably not the typical letter you are used to receiving, Santa, so I’ll wrap up the venting and get straight to the point.  I’m sure you’re thinking that next I’ll ask for early freedom, a one-way ticket home, a vacation, some money, alone time in my bed, dinner with my family, a trip to the beach.  And while all those things should certainly be on my list, all I ask for Santa, all I want, is for my family to be FLOODED, I mean absolutely consumed with Jesus, joy, health, laughter, a solid state of mind, and a persistent, grateful attitude.  I want the hole in my family’s heart to be filled.

I know this may be beyond your reach, Santa, so maybe you can mention it to Jesus in your prayers?  Ask Him to fill their hearts and their soul with something I can’t provide?

We’ve had a really, really tough year, Santa, and we need Jesus now more than ever.  I’m going to be okay, Santa.  Please bring my people some presents.

And Santa, I know you will have a busy night, but if you find the time to stop by Lowell, can you bring 1400 other women and me a squishmellow!!!!  I want something soft and cuddly, pretty please.  But please be very careful when you fly over Lowell.  Some of these guards around here might shoot at you and the reindeer.  And if they catch you, they will throw you in confinement.

Merry Christmas!!!!!!!

Amanda