Amanda’s Letters – Dear Jesus

Dear Jesus,

It’s your birthday again.  Happy Birthday!!!!

How blessed I am that you came to this earth, knowing your fate.  Thank you for the gift of forgiveness, freedom, will, and love.  On December 25, we celebrate you and the unfathomable sacrifice.

Most people will spend their time consumed with presents, wrapping paper, family, friends, food, laughter, and love.  But let us not forget the real reason, the truest, most fulfilling gift you gave us so many Christmases ago.

Speaking of which, I hope everyone receives all of their wish list.  I already have!!!

I have the gifts of a lifetime.  I have friends who make me feel like I can achieve any goal, any dream.  I have friends who answer the phone with joy, and don’t make me feel bad for my lack of communication.  I have friends who uplift me and LISTEN to me… to my thoughts, complaints, experiences, etc.

I have family who can handle all my hard truths, can take being exposed to a lifestyle they don’t deserve.  I have family who listen to the most absurd wild unimaginable stories of abuse mistreatment, heartbreak, and agony, yet they still find a way to love me, support me, and help me survive.  They are the lifeboat on a ship.  They are always right there in eyesight, just in case of an iceberg.

I have the gift of a second chance.  Although November 8, 2028, feels like a lifetime away, it is a date.  I’m surrounded by women of all ages, races, religions, beliefs, cultures, who don’t have a date.  The bottom of their gain time sheets literally say “Tentative Release Date: Not Applicable”.  I can not imagine how that feels.  I LIVE with these women, I associate and laugh and play cards, and eat, shower, sleep next to these women who have no date.  They have no release date and they will live in this same monotonous torture chamber until their very last breath.  They will never experience 8 am, noon, 4 pm, or 9:30 pm without being constricted to their beds for count time.  They will never see the ocean, or ride a rollercoaster, or ride around town with the windows down, or go to a concert, or put gas in a car, or go through a drive through, or have an icee when their throat hurts, or take a bubble bath, or have one single moment of total isolation and quiet ever again.  Never will they experience the most simple things.

How could I ever ask for more?  Every morning, I’m humbled in gratitude that I have been given such beautiful things.  Thank you for the gift of forgiveness, for the gift of another chance, for the gift of healing and rest, for the gift of love and family and friends.  Thank you for peace. Thank you for your sacrifice.