Our Journey

As a part of the Family Justice Support Alliance, this is my story as I advocated for Amanda during the process. I have been asked many times to describe this journey. It is like getting on a roller coaster for a ride, with many twists and turns, in and out of tunnels, and ups and downs. But once the first ride is over, the car does not stop. You continue to ride the roller coaster over and over again for years. You have no control over the ride and can’t get off.
This unexpected journey began at approximately 11:30 p.m. on Friday, April 22, 2024
Chapter 1
I was asleep when I heard someone pounding on the front door. It took a few seconds to wake up and understand what was happening. I got up, cautiously approached the front door, and saw my son, Ryan. I opened the door, and his first words were, “Amanda has been in a car wreck and is on the way to the Emergency Room.” Still not fully awake, I was stunned and confused. I asked for details, but he did not know anything else. He came to tell me because he could not reach me by telephone.
He entered the house while I was getting dressed. I could hear him and Chrissy (my longtime girlfriend and partner) talking, but none of their conversations registered. Still trying to wake up, my mind was racing.
I ran out of the house, jumped in the car, and headed toward the hospital. Before leaving the driveway, I realized I didn’t know which hospital. I immediately called my ex-wife, Brenda, to find out what she knew. The conversation with her was also confusing, and she did not have much additional information. She did tell me which hospital, and Amanda did not have any life-threatening injuries. Our conversation was short, and she also was driving to the hospital.
The hospital was only 10 minutes away, but I was overwhelmed by an entire lifetime of memories and fears.
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Brenda and I arrived at the hospital simultaneously and rushed into the Emergency Room. We told the person at the front desk who we were and that we were there to see Amanda. She told me she was unsure we could return but said she would check. In just a few seconds, we were escorted back to her room.
When we first walked in, all I saw was Amanda. She had some mild bruises, but she was okay overall. She gave me a slight smile, but not her usual self. I then glanced around and saw a medical worker taking her vital signs and a policeman sitting in the corner. I couldn’t understand why he was there, but I was more concerned about Amanda then.
Amanda had a large knot on her forehead, a bruised wrist, and an injured knee. I asked Amanda what happened. All she said was that she was in an accident and didn’t remember anything else. She seemed confused about what had happened or why she was at the hospital.
I asked the policeman, who told me she was in a wreck but didn’t know any details. I pressed for more information, but he would not reveal anything. At one point, he told me he heard the police were chasing two motorcycles, and he thought that might have been a factor.
After a few minutes, an additional police officer, later identified as a detective, asked to talk to Amanda alone. I still did not know any details, but I assumed they were gathering details. Brenda and I left the room. I could not verify the exact conversation; however, the officer revealed to Amanda that she and a motorcycle had collided and the motorcycle driver was deceased. After that conversation, we were allowed back into the room and arrived to see Amanda crying. She was emotional and was unable to relay the conversation. Still, she did convey that the driver of the motorcycle was deceased.
I left the room and attempted to get more information from the police, but they would not tell me anything. Shortly after, the detective returned and asked to talk to Amanda alone again. I told the detective she could talk to Amanda again, but I would remain in the room. The detective asked one or two minor questions and then left the room.
Shortly after, the first officer returned to the room and indicated that Amanda was not being held and would be free to go when the medical team finished. At this point, I had no idea that Amanda was being investigated for criminal charges or that she had done anything wrong.
At the same time the discussions with law enforcement occurred, various medical personnel entered the room to check vital signs, obtain a blood sample, check medical background, etc. I attempted to talk to a few medical personnel but received few answers.
Brenda and I briefly stepped out of the room to discuss the incident. We were both confused and were not receiving much information from either law enforcement or medical personnel. We decided that Brenda would remain at the hospital, and I would go to the accident scene to see if I could get more information.
At roughly 2:00 a.m., I left the hospital and drove to the location of the wreck. At this point, my mind was racing in many different directions. What had happened? Was Amanda okay medically? How was she mentally? At this point, I still had no idea that law enforcement was beginning an investigation of Amanda.
As I neared the site, I could see numerous police cars with blinking lights. I was stopped a few blocks away and informed the road was closed. Without revealing who I was, I asked why the road was blocked. The officer indicated a wreck but would provide no other details.
I drove down a parallel road for several blocks and tried to get in from the opposite direction. Another officer was stopping traffic. I tried a different approach and told him I owned the car. While polite, he told me it would be several hours before the road was opened and that I would not have access to the vehicle even then.
At this point, I returned home to try to get some rest. I did not know then, but there would be very little rest or sleep for the next several months.
At daylight, I drove back to the wreck site. The roads were reopened. Given the information I had, I could identify where the wreck happened and see oil and water stains from the crash. Beyond that, there was no indication of anything else. I started up and down the street, going to businesses near the wreck. I could locate several people who had heard of the crash and seen the aftermath, but no one had seen the crash.
The wreck happened in front of a convenience store, so I went in to see if there was a videotape. Law enforcement had arrived shortly before I did, and they were also searching for video. I attempted to get an update from them, but once again, they would not provide any information. I viewed the video from the store, but it did not give any helpful information.
After a couple of hours, I left the site and drove back to check on Amanda.
I arrived at Brenda’s house. When I went in, Brenda told me additional details about the Emergency Room after I left. Even though she was admitted with a head injury, she never received a CT Scan or any other tests on her head except a physical examination. Brenda asked the medical personnel numerous times about the lack of care she was receiving. At one point, Amanda asked the Doctor to discharge her. Even though she did not tell him, the reason was to go to the other local hospital so she could be examined. The Doctor threatened to Baker Act her if she tried to leave. After several more hours, Amanda and Brenda decided to leave Against Medical Advice. They went home because she had no sleep, and Amanda went to bed.
After hearing this story, we realized we still had medical issues to check, as well as continuing to try to understand the wreck.
Since she did not receive an appropriate examination for her potential head injury at the first hospital, we decided to take her to a different hospital. Upon entering the Emergency Room and talking to the receptionist, Amanda was immediately taken to a room. Very quickly, the medical personnel began to collect her information. Within 30 minutes, she received a CT scan of her head along with x-rays of her wrist and knee. While we waited for results, a mental health specialist also entered and talked with Amanda about the trauma. Fortunately, there were no serious physical injuries, and we were back home within a couple of hours.
As we arrived home, Ryan asked me if I had seen the City of Daytona Beach Shores Facebook page. I had not, but I immediately used my phone to access the page. The following was posted on their account.
“DAYTONA BEACH SHORES — A motorcyclist was killed Friday night when the bike was struck by a speeding car on South Atlantic Avenue, Daytona Beach Shores Public Safety reported.
The crash occurred a little after 11 p.m. in front of the Sunoco gas station at 2530 S. Atlantic Avenue, according to police. A Daytona Beach Shores public safety officer observed the vehicle traveling southbound at 85 mph in the 2400 block of South Atlantic Avenue. The speed limit is 35 mph.
The officer turned on the police cruiser’s flashing lights, but the driver didn’t slow down, according to police.
The vehicle struck the northbound motorcycle as it was turning left into the Sunoco station, killing the motorcyclist instantly, according to police. The vehicle continued south and stopped when it became disabled in the 2600 block of South Atlantic.
The identity of the motorcyclist, who was from out of state, hasn’t been released, pending notification of next of kin, said Daytona Beach Shores spokeswoman Cindi Lane.
The woman driving the vehicle was taken to Halifax Health Medical Center with head injuries, according to police. The accident is under investigation, and charges are pending against the driver, whose name hadn’t been released on Saturday.”
This posting was the first time we knew that Amanda was being investigated. She still did not remember the details of what had happened.
The remainder of the weekend was to try to understand everything that had happened and to determine a course of action. And it was Saturday night that my emotions hit me. And the emotions were far reaching and overwhelming. They ranged from sadness to anger to disappointment to hopelessness to mental paralysis.
Even though this was not a business issue, my experience taught me to take each issue and try to work one at a time. But I also knew I had to be objective while attacking each issue.
The first was medical. While Amanda experienced severe bruising, there were no injuries that required immediate attention. The first hospital had not been helpful, and they had not provided the care she needed; this was an issue we could face later.
The discovery that Amanda was being criminally investigated was an issue that was a total surprise. We did not know exactly what had happened or how the wreck occurred. We also did not know about the investigation, how long it would last, what it would involve, or how quickly it would move. However, it became apparent that she needed an attorney. On Sunday afternoon, we made a call to a criminal defense attorney who had great reviews and experience. After a brief telephone call, an appointment was made for the following morning at 9:00 a.m.
Amanda did tell me that she had been drinking on Friday night. Because of her mental condition at the time, I did not press for more information. But I realized we had to deal with this issue quickly.
Amanda was showing signs of depression, stress, sorrow, and hopelessness. She only wanted to stay in her room and stay in bed. I didn’t know until later that she called the Crisis Line on Sunday night. The person at the Crisis Line was helpful to Amanda while on the phone and “talked her down.” She told Amanda she needed to get mental health treatment and gave her the first appointment available with a provider on her health insurance plan. The appointment was in July (3 months later). Mental health was another issue that we needed to face quickly.
The essence of the weekend was that we had far more questions than answers.
It was challenging to find any positives at this time. However, when you look for blessings, you will always find them. Amanda was alive and physically healthy. Chrissy (my longtime partner), Brenda (Amanda’s mother), and I met Sunday night and agreed on how to proceed.
I distinctly remember talking to Amanda Sunday night. Her question was, “What do we do now?” I gave an answer that would become our motto for this entire journey: “Get some sleep and get up ready to fight again in the morning.”
Chapter 2
The following day (Monday, April 25, 2022), we were going to our first meeting with a Criminal Defense Attorney. The wreck occurred on Friday night, so we had less than two days to find an experienced attorney. I called several people I felt would know the legal community in the area. Of the people we called, a majority of them recommended the attorney we chose. Once we had some suggestions, we researched him through the Internet as much as possible. All research pointed toward the attorney we chose.
It is intimidating to walk into an attorney’s office with your daughter, who may be charged with a crime. But at this point, our goal was to find the best attorney possible to represent Amanda.
After a brief introduction, the attorney asked Amanda to explain what happened. She still did not remember the details or how the wreck occurred, but she now knew the motorcyclist did not survive. The attorney pressed hard to get all of the facts.
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Amanda had gone to dinner that night and had drinks. After dinner, she went to the club area of Daytona Beach and had more drinks. She remembered leaving the club and driving toward home but did not remember any other details.
At this point, the attorney revealed what he had learned. Amanda was driving at approximately 85 mph, and her alcohol level was well above the legal limit for DUI.
At this point, we had many questions.
- Who was the motorcyclist?
- How did the wreck occur?
- Did the motorcycle turn in front of her?
- Was she on his side of the road?
- Was he on her side of the road?
- How fast was he going?
- What was his alcohol level?
- Whose fault was the wreck?
- Why were the police chasing two motorcycles (which turned out to be a false statement that law enforcement used to get Amanda to think they were on her side)?
And the questions would grow almost every day for many months.
The attorney clearly explained that if the speed and blood alcohol level were accurate, she could be facing prison. The law enforcement investigation was beginning, so much more information would come. He also explained that it would be several weeks or months before law enforcement finished the investigation. In the meantime, he advised her to go about her daily life as best as possible, and we would deal with the next steps when they happened.
He also advised her not to talk to anyone about the entire incident, to remove herself from social media, and not to post about the event. He also advised her mother and me to refrain from saying anything. I had no idea how difficult that would become.
In closing, he discussed how he would proceed with the case, made a proposal (price), and asked if we wanted to hire him. We asked for a few hours to discuss it, but we all knew he was the right choice.
Before we left the office, he made a statement that has stuck with me every day since. “Amanda – do you know the difference between what happened to you and essentially every other person in Daytona Beach? They were lucky, and you weren’t.” I might disagree with the “luck” portion of the statement, but his theory is correct. How many people get in their cars after they have been drinking and arrive home safe? And how many times do we all play with those odds? I thought I had often driven down that same road and had drinks earlier.
Let me briefly divert from the story to provide my viewpoint and comments on alcohol. It is a product sold legally (with restrictions) essentially everywhere. The product is widely advertised in all forms of media. Many citizens have a drink(s) with dinner, socially, and in other situations. It is an individual choice and each person decides if they drink or not.
I drank socially for years. In most cases, I had one or two drinks with dinner, which was it. At times, I drank too much. And there were times I drove when I shouldn’t have.
On the night of April 22, 2025, I arrived at the hospital and saw Amanda was there. Drinking contributed to the tragedy that night. At one point during the night, Amanda and I were alone in the hospital room. She looked directly at me and said, “Dad, please promise me you will not drink again.” I made her that promise, and since then, I have not had one drop of alcohol. Please realize that stopping drinking was not something I did alone. It is only by the grace of God that He took every desire for a drink away from me. I have not had a single urge or desire to taste alcohol since that night. It is because of Him the desire has gone. There will be more discussion of alcohol later in this journey.
Back to the story, we left the office and agreed to contact him the next day with a decision.